DUALITY 3 FOLDS

 What is my aspiration in life? This is such an important question that can only be told thoroughly through actions. This statement is merely a clue to who I am and what I have done and am capable of doing. What is my aspiration in life? It is a haunting question. The desire to be happy is an honest answer. Happiness is the channel to the divine. I can only consider myself a connector to this magnificent property. I bring people together through my work. I connect to them and they connect to me. That's what my life is all about. My art is not my life, but on the contrary, my life is my art. My life is a moving painting, rich in color, dressed in detail and emotional decadence. These factors are my tools. I take these factors and combine them through my experiences and thoughts and make something with them. Sometimes, the object is physical. Other times, it is mental. And when all these elements come together, it is completely transcendental. This is my life.

What is it that calls me to do my work? What is this life all about? So many questions fill my head constantly and consistently. The need to answer these questions is what calls me. I not only must come to understand these questions but I also must challenge myself to answer them adequately and precisely. I answer them through my thoughts and my thoughts are brought forth through my actions. My life is a mystery and my mission is the answer.

When I think about artists who have inspired my intellect I think of some of the greatest lives that have ever benefited humanity by their mere existence. The first book that ever moved me profoundly was “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings,” by Maya Angelou. The written work of Dr. Angelou always spoke to me, but, this work in particular, showed me how life could be transformed into a masterpiece. Maya Angelou's life told her story and her writing was her channel. Her life meant and means so much to the struggles of all those who came before her. For this reason, I find significance in life and all others who have come before me. After reading her work, it made sense to see every one's life as an extension of mine and my life as a chapter in theirs. It opens my scope to the vast undertow of the fluidity that compels me to move in a specific direction, in a specific manner. Maya Angelou raised a kingdom from ashes and did it alone, through the power of her thought and her love of life. She taught me that the heart was in the brain and for that reason it was important to project my ideas and bring them before the world. And it is for that reason that I not only study my life as a piece of art but also study it through psychological learning.

How do I tell my story? I suppose I'm telling a part of my story right now. I tell my story by helping people. I write my story by thinking cleanly and not involving myself in destructive thoughts and behaviors. I must have license to lead people out of darkness. I can only do that by setting an example. Examples can be monumental and monuments are excellent references of history. If one wants to live forever, one must change the world in memorable acts of love. All creation is a product of love. We wouldn't exist if it were not for acts of love. It is vital to remind one another what is important in this life time and how a true sense of self can lead us to creating a better world. Life is hard but it is my belief as a human being that it is easier when you love and be loved in return.

Another artist that stimulated my intellect and made me self-aware of my own powers would be the painter, Frida Kahlo. She was a surrealist in the truest sense being that her life, her pain, was unbelievably real that it was surreal. She inspired emotional capacity in me through her work. Again, she was another artist who's life was her masterpiece. She drew from her experience and overcame the most impossible life situations. Frida Kahlo's passion for change in the world combined with her visceral and muscular style of painting changed Mexico and international art history. Not only was she a woman who faced many disabilities but she was a revolutionary in artistic expression, leaving her stories etched in time through her paintings and journals. I believe she discovered the gift of immortality. Her physical embodiment was a testimony of how it could and could not handle the extreme primal desire she had to live. It is this enduring desire that I find myself fascinated with her life work. I have her portrait tattooed on my skin as a reminder of the connection to immortality. 

Through our pains and our joys, we have the ability to tap into the consciousness of living forever. It is this idea that I try to work with, teach, and reiterate to those in need. I believe Frida saw the idea of death differently. I drew from her that there is no such thing as death. Once we stop intellectualizing every moment of our life and let go of our senses hampered by physicality, we come closer to our moment of truth and we discover who we really are. It is an exercise in alchemy as much as it is in transformation. We begin to go beyond all limitations and we are led to a discovery of a freedom that has its own unique significance for each and every one of us. The lives I have encountered thus far in this life time have done this for me and I can only wish to do the same in return through my life work, whatever form it may take. Enlightenment and resilience are large parts of my purpose. How one perceives pain and death and negativity is a large variable in the formation of one's identity. I teach people how to take these negatives and turn them into positives. I do this for myself and in turn, I do it for others. Nothing in this world is free. Everything depends on exchange. It is important that these exchanges are equalized so that we may all value each others' happiness and in turn, we all become equal.

When I think about A future, not just mine, but a future, I consider what that encompasses for humanity. It is essential to the greater good of all our well being to think about what we are thinking about. Its not easy to not let emotion override you. Sometimes the complexity is subtle and we don't even know we are conditionally thinking negatively about ourselves or others. Intuition is absolutely essential to the study of behavioral sciences. My third inspiration to my work (and definitely not my last) is the director, Stanley Kubrick. Every time I see his films is the first time I see his films. His body of work is an education to me on the study of the human dilemma,”What is the meaning of life?” I consistently discover new meaning and detail to each of his films every single time I view and review his films in repetition, which I do so frequently. His ideas are colossal and his importance to our culture as an artist is powerful. Kubrick's work is an education. Not only does his life speak through his work but takes a clear stand on the observations of life as we know it.

Stanley Kubrick had discovered the connection between the senses and the spirit by defining and defying the lines of mankind and the fantastic simultaneously. He was fearless in his work and it was well documented by his life. He did not find a calling, Stanley Kubrick was born knowing. He was a gifted artist, a genius and he shared his gifts with the world. This is a trait I work on discovering within myself and others. “With great power comes great responsibility” and as powerful people, we must be responsible for every thought and action we reproduce. Facing fears and stirring our spirit from within can only lead us to make our own connections with our senses and our spirits. Having a complex belief system is something vital to the evolution of our consciousness. We must learn and keep learning about ourselves and the world at large. I believe, as an aspiring artist, psychologist, athlete, however I choose to set an example in this world, one must have a love for learning. It is the dynamic in which our thought goes forward in time and grants us new life in every breath.

Listening to the right people and being inspired by the right sources is what makes my purpose clear- to help others see light even in the darkest places. It is a gift that can be easily expressed for some but as far as my own work, it takes a great deal of investigation and research of how the mind and the body are connected to this dimension in which we co-exist. Once that connection is established we can connect with others more freely and meaningfully. I help people connect to the importance of their present mind by connecting with them. I'm not sure what I think about the future because I see my present as my future so what is important is my present happiness and expressing that perpetually to others. Spreading happiness sounds easy but ultimately it is one's own responsibility that we owe to ourselves. I cannot assure people I will make them happy but I can give them tools to seek out and discover their own personal happiness so that we can be happy together and conquer the pains of life, together. I see myself as a humanitarian with knowledge that will benefit everyone who will ever pass through my world because my world is our world and the only world I will ever know. The responsibility of creating a good world belongs to us all. I stand appointed.